Saturday, October 20, 2007

Family Funny - "Cousins, Baths and Measuring Tapes"

I got this one today from my first cousin.

Well, it was 2:30pm and I was in a meeting with 5 other gentlemen and my phone rang. I normally don't answer my phone in a meeting but if it is my wife I make it a rule that I always step out in case it is something urgent.

In this case it actually was urgent.

My son had just stepped out of the tub and was nude and began playing with a tape measure. He likes tools, bugs, dirt etc., typical boy! As he was measuring things around the house, he let the tape go and as it retracted into the tape measure it caught his scrotum and it got sucked up inside of the tape measure. I made it home from my meeting in record time thinking of what I was going to say to the police man as he pulls me over for going 90 mph.

When I got home the poor little guy was relaxing on the sofa with 8 of his favorite stuffed animals, sucking on his blanket, watching cartoons, with a tape measure hanging from his scrotum. I looked carefully at what was going on and proceeded to collect some needle nose pliers, a screw driver and a paint can opener to try to wedge into the tape measure so that we could release him. On my first attempt at this he began screaming...

"No daddy, please daddy, no daddy!"

So I immediately stopped and called the ambulance thinking that they might have some kind of topical treatment they could throw on there to numb him up and we could take care of it in the living room and avoid a scene at the emergency room.

They ambulance showed up and could not help us so we put a robe on the little guy and took him into the hospital with a tape measure hanging from his scrotum. It turned out that the only way to get that thing off of there was to give him an IV and knock him out which we did and released him from the clutches of this tape measure.

O ya, his scrotum is fine...

as a matter of fact it never even broke the skin. Once out of his hospital room, he proceeded to show all of the nurses in the emergency his scrotum and how the tape measure was no longer attached.

Needless to say, he is not a big fan of that tape measure any more.

True story folks. You believe me don't ya?


Therese said...

lol this would have to be the funniest one of all your family funnies.

NanaDee said...

3I believe you. I have four sons, all grown up now, but I could tell you stories. Oh yeah!